After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
