I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize