Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone came in the potted fern
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
