So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
