I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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