You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
