No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
