Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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