are you still at the devil's house?
My nipple is on Facebook.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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