I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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