Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
