I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I need a beard to bite.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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