Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
