You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
