Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Randomize
