a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I need to stop coming to work sober
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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