With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
