remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
