he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize