weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
