I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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