I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize