You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
