You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
