I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
