I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
