we're chasing vodka with high fives
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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