no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
