i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
