Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
