guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm getting married
To pizza
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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