I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Apparently you make a good broom.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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