i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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