May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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