WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
