i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
high people should be assigned attendants
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
