If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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