Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
