i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize