laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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