I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
