once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
