Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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