You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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