whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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