if i can run in heels then i can drive
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
