Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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