her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
