apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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