clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
