i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
