He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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