To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
