The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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